TAPS needs volunteers for National Good Grief Camp

Published May 5, 2010
By Airman 1st Class Katherine Windish
11th Wing Public Affairs

BOLLING AIR FORCE BASE, D.C. -- "It really did change my life," said Airman 1st Class Justin Baker, Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors volunteer, about the Memorial Day weekend event held every year. "The support system and love that you give to these children and get in return - it's definitely something everyone needs to experience at least once in their life. Not only does this program impact these children, it has a forever impact on you."

The program is currently recruiting volunteers for their 16th Annual National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp for Young Survivors May 27-31 at the Crystal Gateway Marriott in Arlington, Va.

Since 1995, children who have lost a loved one in service to their country and mentors come together on Memorial Day weekend to take part in a series of activities and workshops to help the children cope with their grief.

More than 400 mentees are already signed up for this year's event and volunteers are desperately needed to ensure that each mentee has a mentor.

"The Taps program doesn't make any money from this. Without the mentors, this weekend would not be possible," said Staff Sgt. Joshua Malyemezian, Bolling point of contact for TAPS. "We have more than 400 children this year and we need more than 400 mentors for this weekend to work. So far we don't have nearly enough volunteers to be able to mentor all the children, we need as many as we can get."

Other volunteers agreed with Sergeant Malyemezian, saying that children will not receive the full benefits of the weekend without having their own mentor to give them their undivided attention.

"You shouldn't have three kids to one mentor," agreed Airman Baker. "You can't give all of yourself when you have three children to mentor at once. The kids will feel less comfortable and less able to open up to you. You're doing a disservice to the children that are here for all the support you can give."

Mentors from past years encourage all active duty members to volunteer for the benefit of the children and the member.

"The most important part is giving back," said Sergeant Malyemezian. "Their loved one gave the ultimate price and this is the way to help those family members stay connected with the military. I put myself in the shoes of those that were killed, I would want my fellow Airmen to take care of my family and this is a great way to do that."

"In the Honor Guard we're part of funerals every day, this is an opportunity to see the other side of what we do," said Airman Martinez. "Seeing how death affects these family members helps us connect with the families we see in Arlington every day."

Mentor and mentee will tour the district, Arlington National Cemetery and the United States Capitol. Participants will attend ceremonies at Marine Barracks Washington and workshops to help the children understand complicated grief, cope with new family dynamics and recognize post traumatic stress.

Volunteers will be required to attend a four-hour training session May 27, before the start of the program.

Saturday is spent touring the Nation's Capital where, depending on age, the groups go around the capital and see the national monuments and museums. Some of the children can also request to visit their loved one's grave in Arlington National Cemetery.

Sergeant Malyemezian said the most memorable experience he had during the five years he has participated in TAPS was when his mentee asked to visit his father's grave in Arlington. When Sergeant Malyemezian and the child went to the cemetery with the other mentees who had requested the visitation, he was touched by the children reading poems and talking to their lost loved one.

"The boy I was mentoring cleaned off his father's grave, put a rock on it and started talking," said Sergeant Malyemezian. "He was really able to open up and connect with his father's memory and I will never forget it. I still go to Arlington to clean off that grave and send pictures to him every once and a while."

Sunday concludes the Good Grief Camp with more activities and support groups, and the balloon release.

The balloon release allows the child to right a letter to the loved one they lost and tie it to a balloon and release it into the sky.

Airman Martinez spoke of the balloon release and the importance of that event to her mentee.

"In my mind this event is the most important," said Airmen Martinez. "It really helps Stacy connect with her dad in a way she usually can't. She is the strong one for her mom and her brother and tries to stay strong and keep her emotions inside but the balloon release helps her release the emotions she keeps inside. This is a chance for us to relieve her of the burden so that she can be taken care of instead of taking care of everyone else."

The seminar will culminate during Memorial Day events at Arlington National Cemetery followed by wreath laying ceremony at the Tomb of the Unknowns.

"It helps these kids to know that there are other people like them," said Sergeant Malyemezian. "TAPS weekend is the only place they feel like they belong. In their day-to-day lives they're surrounded by kids who have both their parents and lead normal lives. Here, they're surrounded by people who know exactly what they're going through. They're not alone."

Mentors are required to follow these guidelines:

-Mentors must attend all scheduled events and functions
-Ensure you and mentee are safe at all times.
-No fraternization allowed with fellow mentors, mentees, TAPS staff or adult survivors during the program. A mentor's focus should be on the mentee's well-being.
-Honor time constraints.
-Mentor must be at least 18 years old and demonstrate maturity.
-Complete and pass security background check.
-Alert group leader if there are any reasons to be concerned about the mentee's safety or well-being.
-Demonstrate moral and responsible conduct throughout the program. Profanity and inappropriate stories or comments are not allowed.
-Personal political views will not be discussed. The TAPS program is not an anti- or pro-war forum.
Volunteers must be willing to act as a role model to a child who has lost a loved one in the military. All volunteers must also be willing to continue the mentor role throughout the rest of the year for the child's birthday, special events and holidays.

"We have heard many mentors say that this weekend is a life changing event, for them and certainly for the children involved," said Heather Campagna, TAPS director. "As a TAPS mentor, you have the unique ability to have a wonderful influence on these children, and for many, represent the military that was once such a big part of each child's life."

For volunteers unable to attend the entire weekend, volunteers are needed for set up.

To volunteer, sign up at taps.org. For more information, contact Sergeant Malyemezian at joshua.malyemezian@afncr.af.mil.