Bolling Airman speaks during Memorial Day event

Published May 31, 2010
By Lt. Col. Mary Carlisle
579th Medical Group

WASHINGTON -- Like so many of you, I served overseas, far from home. I deployed to Balad, Iraq, in 2007, and cared for our wounded who fought so bravely, fighting to save them as they lay broken, amid the chaos of war. As is said each Memorial Day, "All gave some, and some gave all."

While we saw many win the fight for their lives and receive their Purple Heart, we sang Amazing Grace and cried, as others slipped away. I cared for a young man who suffered wounds that would take his life. In his face I saw all the brave warriors who defended our freedom since the birth of our nation. I made sure he was not in pain and was not alone as he took his last breath. He died a hero, as did all those who passed before him, and those who will pass after him. We honored him, as we did all the fallen angels, by saluting him as he began his journey home.

I think about those we lost in our war, their names yet to be engraved on the monument yet to be built. They, like those heroes on the great wall behind me, once living, breathing souls, forever immortalized, never forgotten. So many of them who gave the ultimate sacrifice were women, serving proudly, who, in the past, rarely got the recognition they deserved. Thankfully today, we honor the brave women of all wars, especially the thousands of women who are Vietnam veterans.

The Vietnam Women's Memorial is the monument that touches me the most. The first time I saw it, I said, "This is magnificent." To me, these women were real. I often wondered if I would ever experience what they were experiencing at that moment in time.

During my deployment, I became each one of them at different times. I was the woman kneeling, looking down, defeated, holding the helmet that will never be worn again. I was the woman cradling the wounded warrior, fighting with everything I had to save his life. And I was the woman gazing skyward, grasping the arm of my colleague, anticipating whatever was to come.

I returned home wounded. Only my wounds, like many of yours, were invisible. I became increasingly lost in sorrow, I drifted away from reason, I became absorbed and distracted by thinking 'What if?' and 'Why...?'

I sought solace here on the National Mall, where every day is Memorial Day, honoring the great veterans of all of our nation's wars. I once again studied the faces of those brave women, larger than life, and this time in their eyes I saw strength, and I saw determination, and I saw hope. This time, they lifted me.

I found the courage to seek help for my wounds, my hidden trauma, and now I am at peace knowing I, we, did the best we could, and the fallen angels were not lost in vain, and America's freedom still reigns.

My sisters and brothers who served before me, especially the Vietnam veterans, you were my inspiration in the darkest of nights, so far from home. You were with me as I cared for our wounded, and you saved me from spiraling into a deepening despair. I know you still suffer invisible wounds, and mourn tremendous losses. Please know, you do not need to suffer in silence and you are not alone. I cherish you, and America embraces you.

You are my heroes. I hope my message inspires you to proudly tell your stories, and in your honor, I hope to inspire my generation of veterans to erase the stigma of admitting they can't do it alone, and to find courage to get the help they need for their hidden wounds. I hope today makes a difference for all of you.

Note from 11th Wing Public Affairs Office: The speech above was given by Lt. Col. Mary Carlisle at the Vietnam Veterans' Memorial Wall on Memorial Day. Colonel Carlisle has held several clinical, educational and leadership positions at various assignments including medical surgical, critical care, ambulatory surgery and emergency services. She was deployed as a critical care nurse with the Expeditionary Medical Support unit to Masirah AB, Oman, to support Operation Enduring Freedom in 2001 and 2002 and to the Air Force theater hospital at Balad AB, Iraq, in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom in 2007. She sought care for post-traumatic stress disorder after returning from Iraq and was profiled in the Real Warriors Campaign as a person seeking healing for the mental and emotional costs of war.

Lt. Col. Carlisle